When you realise that no one is coming to save you

There is this point in a healing journey that signals the precipice of change…

Taking complete ownership of your life.

Realising that no one is coming to save you.

Realising that your life is in your hands and if you want change, it is your responsibility.

And I say this with love because to be honest, I spent many years saying I wanted something different for my life, feeling incredibly stuck, filled with indecision, desperately unhappy. And if you’d have asked me, I’d have told you of course I wanted help, of course I wanted things to be different.

But the truth is I wanted someone to do it for me. I wanted something or someone to fix me. I held a lot of blame. I was stuck in victimhood, thinking “life was unfair”, that I had it harder than everyone else and that no one else understood.

And yes, as for many of us, certain things in my childhood and upbringing were categorically hard and should not have happened under any circumstances.

But I was letting this rule my life.

I was clinging to this as my reason for my life being hard.

And this was holding me back from making any meaningful steps forward towards change.

But there was a point where this shifted.

It wasn’t a sudden epiphany or lightbulb moment, it was more of a slow burn and deep exhaustion from repeating the same cycles and expecting something to change.

And eventually, I got so fed up of myself and going round and round in the same circles that I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was sick of my own story. And I realised that no one was coming to save me and that if I wanted my life to be different, it was my choice and my responsibly for it to be different.

It’s a little like the Buddhist parable of the second arrow…the first arrow being the event that causes your pain.

“In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.”

And I’ve realised this is the point of difference for clients who get incredible results with hypnotherapy, they are at this point of taking complete control of their life.

They are done with blaming. They are not expecting someone to save them. They are ready to meet the parts of themself that have been wounded not with judgement or shame, but with tenderness and compassion and understanding.

Hypnotherapy doesn’t erase the first arrow.

It doesn’t change what happened to you. But it gives you power to stop the second.

To go back to those younger parts of you who were hurt, abandoned, dismissed or forgotten and offer them the love and safety they never had.

This is where the change happens, in being ready to stop the suffering of the second arrow.

So if this is where you’re at and you’re curious to learn how hypnotherapy could help you, you can find out more about working with me or book a free connection chat HERE.